Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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