just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
