some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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