dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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