im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
