After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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