He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
