Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
