i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
