Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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