it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
