some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
