Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
