Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
