i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
