do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
