***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
