saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
