At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
