sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
