i just google imaged poop.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
