so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
