i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
