Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
