I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
