let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
its not stalking. its research.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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