wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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