So drunk its hurt
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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