wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
