No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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