I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
