So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
no you cant smoke seaweed
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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