in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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