he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
