I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
