Porn is love you can see.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
