We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So much rum. So many feels.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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