is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
