this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
