you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
