mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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