Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
