This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
