And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
