Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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