I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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