I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
