Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
