I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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