shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Less talking, more tequila
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
