guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
