Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have fence marks all over my body
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
